i trust. i hurt. i bleed. and i heal.
the last time i experienced such a
severe heart cringing moment was
so long ago. very long ago.
so long that i've lose consciousness of
how much it could hurt.
self control seems like a futile effort.
the tears wouldnt listen to my call.

i have no trouble communicating with people.
but when it comes to myself,
its like a big feat. i cant speak.
i cant tell anyone. the words just get stuck.
halfway down there.
i can only write it down.
words can paint a thousand pictures.
and its one where i can express myself
at the epitome, at my best.

i think i've got supersonic eyes or something.
really. just a head turn.
and it seems like words/images are
presented to me right before my eyes.
undeniably clear. undeniably true.
so does that mean that whatever i believe in
previously is wrong? or was it just a facade?
i really wanna diminish the thought.
maybe i saw wrong. maybe its me.
maybe i've not done enough. maybe maybe maybe.

breathe girl. breathe. inhale and exhale.
dont hold onto your breath,
you may cease to exist thereafter.


/crying is not a sign of weakness, its a sign
since birth to show we're still alive.
twelve days.